I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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