i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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