i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
