You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
