Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm like, not good at living.
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