thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
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I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
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You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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