So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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