I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
