Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
