Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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