Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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