that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
