It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
