Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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