Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
