I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
They took my balls.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
