On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Randomize
