people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
