can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
