distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
