So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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