Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
