Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
