Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
