I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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