I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
