I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
