btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
