If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
