So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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