Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
