Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
