she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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