Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
