He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
