doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
