how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
