did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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