How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
