Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
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I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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