Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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