Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
