It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
