Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i came on her dog
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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