If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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