wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
