this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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