I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Is it penis luge time yet?
Every concussion has its silver lining
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize