it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
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I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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