Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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