Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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