I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
