I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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