I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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