You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
