are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
