Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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