Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
