Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
