I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
