I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
