So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
