your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
