I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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