Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I have fence marks all over my body
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize