so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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